The male gaze, postscript

The postscript is that I made him stop. He never came back to the library & it has now been a year.

Monday, August 14, 2006

The male gaze

I am an administrator in a public library. Over the past week I have been told by staff that women customers have complained about a man who stares at them--at their feet sometimes, or just at them, in general. A father complained to staff that his daughter was made to feel uncomfortable. Some staff nicknamed him "the peeker" since he peers through book stacks at various women.

One woman asked to speak to me, since I was in charge, one day last week. She was really creeped about him, and I thanked her for telling me. I walked upstairs to see what he looked like. Of course, at the time I saw him, he was only sitting at a study carrel, working on papers, using his calculator. But I got a look at him.

Tonight, just after I got home from work (6:30 pm) a librarian called me to say a woman was complaining about this man. I asked to speak to her, and she recognized my voice, she said she was the same woman whose complaint I took last week. She said he didn't stare at her today, and the reason is that as soon as she saw him there, she left the 2nd floor immediately, and reported that he was present.

I called the police from home, and the dispatcher said to me, "It's not illegal to look at women." I maintained it is harassment, and that the man is making women and girls very uncomfortable. He repeated, it's not against the law. I said I wanted a police officer to come to the library to talk to the man. He asked me to go back to the library and to call him from there, which I did.

While waiting, I walked to the study carrels and recognized the same man from last week. He was reading and writing. I got a bright idea then, and went to get the library's digital camera. I was inspired by hollabacknyc! I walked right up to the dude, and snapped his photo so that I could show it to all the staff, for them to watch out for him. I started to walk away. He stood up ...

Him: What's going on?
Me: Nothing.
Him: Why did you take my picture?
Me: Library photograph.
Him: Wait! I did nothing wrong, you can't take my picture.
Me: You stare at women and girls and make them very uncomfortable! The police have been called, they are on their way.
Him: It's not against the law to look at women!
Me: It's not against the law to take a picture!

I walked away. He stood there, mouth agape. Then he gathered up his belongings, and started for the stairs. I grabbed a pencil and paper, and walked down the stairs behind him, staring at him. He stopped, I stopped. He started for the door. I followed him. He walked to his car, and I copied his license number. He saw me do that, went to the front of his car, looked at his license plate, looked at me, and yelled, "this is harassment." I started to walk inside. He called out: "you will hear from my lawyer!" I waved.

Then the police officer showed up. The man was gone. I told him what happened. He said, "give me the license number." I handed him the paper. He said, "you shouldn't have taken his picture. Next time that happens, call me, I'll talk to the guy." I said, "I appreciate that. The dispatcher who answered your telephone wasn't as nice about this." He said, "We got a call about a domestic disturbance, so it's been hectic." I said, "That is important. But we want everyone to feel comfortable in the library, and not to feel threatened by men." He said, with an innocent smile, "I feel comfortable here!" Jerk--the cop with a gun feels comfortable, doh! I did get the license number back from him, and copied it down to keep--I had to ask him for it. Then he kept that copy, but I kept mine.

Now I have printed out several photos of the man (it came out really well and I'm considering posting it here) so I will alert all the staff to watch for him. We have a large staff, and now we can all be aware. Staring may not be illegal, but we can watch for him, now, if he ever comes back we will call the cops again. I hope I have frightened the shit out of him and we'll never see his face again.